Coincidentally…


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Yes.  It’s a new year.  I have to say, I’m tired of that whole phrase ‘New Year, New You!’

Why don’t we say Happy Old Year?  Because no one really really changes like they think they will at midnight.  I’ve never seen anyone click over into a new person.  Have you?  Nope.  Never.  We don’t change January 1st.  We change over long hours, weeks, months, years…

We can choose to start adding in new habits or resisting sassy habits, but we cannot change.

Something I want to slowly change into is a somewhat decent writer.  A comedy writer perhaps.  Do I think I’m funny now?  I don’t know…I don’t really think so.  I know that I make myself giggle about strange, awkward situations in my head…but I really don’t know if I make others giggle through words.  Am I making you laugh right now?

See.

I’m not funny.  I strive to be.  That’s my new goal for myself.  Not necessarily for this year, but forever.  So, as you can see…I’ve signed up for a class through The Second City in Chicago.  It’s an online Screenwriting class for now, and who knows what it could turn into.  I think I’m ready for some honest critique and feedback.  I appreciate all the times that you blessed readers like my posts, but I think I need a professional opinion.  I need someone to tell me that I use those three periods too much or that I make too many run-on sentences or that they can’t visualize the brown, slimy banana peel that I may or may not have slipped on or to simply say that I have a good start and should keep working and revising and editing.

Blarg!

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First lights


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I’m officially one of ‘those’ people.  You know the type, they feel all festive and merry and put up their holiday lights before anyone else to show everyone on the block just how festive they are.  They even put up their lights before Thanksgiving!  Blasphemous!

I’ve never been one of those people.  But this year, I tell ya, I’ve had that holiday spirit thing for over 2 weeks now. 

My justification is that I have kids.  But in all honesty, I’m pretty sure I wrote a post roughly 2 years ago whining grinchily about the holiday season.  The kids existed then. Yeah, I wasn’t feeling it that year.  But last year I watched Home Alone at least 10 times and an assortment of other Christmas cheer movies probably every single day. The spirit crept up on me. This year it’s even worse. 

I even researched into the origins of Christmas so I felt a little less guilty about enjoying it and not being full blown Christian.  I find the spirit of Yule and winter solstice much more appealing.  I read about so many interesting regions and cultures celebrating the change of season in their own way.  I now have a potpurri of new holiday beliefs and traditions.

Saturnalia, you’re drunk…go home. 

So, yes, I put up our lights and I love them. I didn’t turn them on right away… for fear of being one of those people.  I planned on waiting until after Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving deserves its day.  Then it snowed and everything changed.  Everything changed!  I mean, I just can’t resist now.  It’s like these lights are Skittles and I just can’t resist that sweet rainbow! I find snow illuminated with twinkly lights to be one of my favorite winter time things. 


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This is how you make a home-made band-aid.  Tear off a little piece of paper towel and hold it over the tiny little knife wound on your pinky…the one you got after you accidentally grazed the knife as it laid there, innocently.  The cut that shouldn’t have happened.  The cut that now leaves an annoying little flap of skin too deep to rip off…but perfect to get caught on sweaters once it has crusted over a bit.   Then fumble around for some scotch tape.

Try to hold the paper towel on your finger and also retrieve enough pieces of tape to cover all of the paper towel.  Despite the awkward finger fumbling of the sticky substance, you must succeed.  We have to cover it all because there is still celery to chop and carrots to peel for this fucking delicious pot roast…and the dreaded tear inducing onions….and you sure don’t want any onion juices seeping into that fresh little cut.  You just started!! You can’t back out now!

Of course, this while process could have been avoided had you just bought the damn $3 Frozen movie themed bandages…the ones that aren’t sticky and are too small for an adult sized wound.  They’re more like decorative stickers.  And why doesn’t Target deliver??