Ahh simplicity.  Why is it so daunting?  Why is there always clutter??

I just want all my material possessions to disappear.  I feel like I carry them around with me all day long, like I can feel their weight on my shoulders.

Why now?  Why do I care?  Why does it matter??

It’s always mattered…but much like other things in my life, I’ve neglected to honor that it matters to me.  I’ve been the one to put aside my needs and to just fucking ‘deal with it.’

The trouble with physical clutter is that it leads to mental clutter and chaos.  It leads to having blinders on to all your surroundings and floating through your space as if you don’t even belong there. 

I feel like a stranger in my home.  I feel like I haven’t been able to truly live how I want to and like to because I’m working around trying to not be that way. 

Well, here it is.  I’m a fucking minimalist.  I fucking love organization.  I’m a little obsessive about it.  I’m a fucking control freak.  I want to rid myself of all this extra baggage.

I find it unnecessary.  I admit, there was a time when I thought I needed more and more things, special things, things that were sentimental.  I realize…sentimental has made me mental. 

Please, come and take away my things!


Oh this brain…

Left brained. Right brained. Creative and out of the box…logical and orderly. Why must I be equally brained?

I know sometimes it’s beneficial to use both sides of the brain equally. I suppose there are benefits. Mostly I just argue with myself inside my head. Or I argue with other people in my head from both sides…you know, like play out conversations that haven’t happened but might happen.

What would I say with my right brain? What would I say with my left brain? What side of the brain does the person I am pretending to argue with use mostly? Or I flip out with my creative side and then my rational side tries to smooth everything over….either with real people or in my head, again.

It seems the creative side flips out a lot. Totally irrational. Why is creativity sometimes so erratic and irrational and exciting? So crazy and unexpected??

There’s nothing really exciting about order and logic…except for the Vulcan neck pinch. This is why I argue with myself in my head…sometimes out loud too.

Boring vs. Exciting. Black and white vs. color. Order vs. chaos.

Vs. One of my favorite Pearl Jam albums.