We’re at now now


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Oh, Spaceballs! Rick Moranis… Such joy.

I introduced the children to this gem last week. Lovely #2 thought Pizza the Hut was disgusting…with his drippy cheesy face and tongue.

Ah, sweet nostalgia. I think my brother and I used to watch this movie nearly every weekend at our neighbor’s house. His mom always made us popcorn and cut up some pears, which we barely touched. It never really got old… and now that it’s old, it still hasn’t really gotten old.

Just look at that big ass helmet. Ludicrous!

and the secret word is….


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It’s about time the kids were introduced to the high flying adventures of Big Top Pee Wee, don’t you agree?

I can’t even remember the first time I saw this movie…and I’m not sure how long ago it was.  As I watch, I am realizing that I don’t remember any of this.  I mean, I remember, but I don’t remember.  I don’t remember the talking pig or the angry townsfolk.  I don’t remember Kris Kristofferson playing the ring leader of the circus in his Indiana Jones attire.  Maybe I remember Pee Wee’s Big Adventure more…the tequila song and the platform shoes with the goldfish in them and Large Marge.  People still do that funny back and forth thumb dance when the song Tequila comes on.

I do seem to recall the egg salad sandwich dripping on Pee Wee’s face…mmm…egg salad-y!

I remember watching Pee Wee’s Playhouse on Saturday mornings when I was a kid and I remember loving it.  I loved the clay-mation opening scene and I loved the aluminum foil ball.  Who could forget Chairy?  I might just have to order all the seasons so that I can relive it every Saturday morning.  I think that the new generation is enjoying it too…my little lovely #2 thinks that it’s pretty funny so far.  So far so good!  Everyone loves that good old Pee Wee giggle.

My friend and I like to drive around, drink coffee, and try to laugh like Pee Wee.  We end up geeking out and laughing so fucking hard we have to wee wee a little pee pee.  See how much joy Pee Wee can bring?

 

Nerd alert


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Nerds. Who doesn’t love Nerds? Those little sweet and sour sugar boogers.

I love that they still sell nerds in the little box with 2 flavors. I also love that you slide the little cardboard top to open each side and shake out the little nibbles like a candy rattle.

We’ve all made the mistake of accidentally keeping the cherry side open when trying to shake watermelon into our mouths…thus shaking cherry Nerds all over our faces! Don’t tell me you haven’t. Or sometimes the box just doesn’t slide back closed like it’s designed to. But I appreciate that Mr. Wonka has held true to certain design genius.

No one wants to waste Nerds.

I remember as a kid, going to Dairy Queen, and getting Nerd Blizzards. Yeah. They don’t make those anymore. They were amazing. I can guarantee my vile dentist remembers them too…and that he writes letters to Dairy Queen, begging to bring them back.

‘The Oreo Blizzard just doesn’t pack the cavity inducing whollop that Nerds do. Please, for the livelihood of my family, I beg you, please bring back the Nerds Blizzard!’ Asshole.

Good vibrations…good like Sunkist


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Picture is crooked. I know.  It’s just too exciting in here!  Marky Mark?

One of the best parts of driving my husband’s car is the Sirius radio. 

A whole 90’s station? With Biggie and Crash Test Dummies and Nirvana and weird techno songs and oldies that aren’t really oldies.  No Pearl Jam yet… 

Ah, sweet nostalgia!  Reminds me of riding the school bus and singing along to all the great songs on the radio. 

‘Gonna feel sweat coming out your pores!’

So I’m feeling a little strange sitting in the parking lot of the grocery store, drinking my latte, writing this blog, and jamming to some nineties tunes.

A little strange, but not strange enough to stop.

‘Yo! It’s about that time, to bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme’

Thursday faves


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Today’s list of favorites…

Kicking the crusty, gray, snow crusts from behind the tires on my car.

Crushing 2 candy canes and topping my one, lonely scoop of candy cane ice cream with them.

Waking up in a new, huge, comfortable bed feeling rested!

Warmed up cars.

Test driving a fancy car feeling like a fancy rich person.

Laughing at the car reading my text messages to me and pronouncing 🙂 as ‘happy smiley.’

Buying the lovelies the cutest, coziest bathrobes for Christmas.

Picking out wrapping paper with steaming mugs of hot cocoa on it!

Pretending that I picked every single person’s name at work for Secret Santa.

Sweet nothings


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Well, the letters to Santa are in the mailbox…and by mailbox, I mean, I stole the letters out of the mailbox this morning and hid then in my purse.

They’ll thank me one day.  Right?  For making these moments magical and memorable??  For listening to holiday tunes and hanging candy canes on the Christmas tree??  Maybe as parents, we play the part of Santa more for ourselves than for the kids.  Maybe we still want there to be some magic in the world…something wildly unbelievable to believe in. 

Or maybe I just think too much. 

Maybe there’s a strange growling sound in my left ear.  What is that?  It’s like a strange vibration.  Maybe it’s Santa’s elves whispering sweet nothings in my ear. 

Maybe I’m just to excited to wait until Christmas morning!!!  Maybe I started shopping for the little lovelies yesterday and maybe I found the cutest shit and had a hard time not buying everything!! Maybe my gift (to myself) is being delivered on Tuesday in the form of the most comfortable bed ever! 

Maybe I can’t wait!!!  Don’t you think that having the best sleep ever is better than magical moments?? 

Nah.

My so called dog


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Doesn’t she remind you of Claire Danes from My So-Called Life? 

Grunge dog.  The more I thought about it yesterday, the more it made me giggle.  I mean, she dresses in all black, wears a choker necklace, is technically in her teen years, has dirty hair and always looks bitterly depressed.  

I’m sure she writes poetry at 3 am. 

Even her breed matches.  Great Dane? Claire Danes?  It was meant to be! 

It’s just too bad that she can’t marry Jordan Catalano and have little grunge puppies in cardigan sweaters.  She’s stuck with me.  She’s my wife-pup, Jordan!!! Go shake that hair and blink those blue eyes at someone else.  Dick. 

Hamburglar


I’ve had many references lately to those crazy happy meal characters that McDonald’s used to use in their advertising campaigns.

First off, yesterday a woman referred to get hair as french fry hair.  That one made me giggle.  There was a character with golden, chunky french fry looking hair.  It must’ve been a girl.  I feel like I’m imagining her with huge round eyes and a pink dress.  I can’t remember the clever name of that one…

The little nuggets dressed up for Halloween.  There was a nugget vampire, a nugget princess, a nugget cowboy perhaps.  There were toys of them dressed up as well…if I remember correctly.  Pretty disgusting if you think about it.

Don’t ask me why or how I get to taking about these things with people.  It just happens.  And I can’t take credit for the french fry hair….but it’s hilarious. 

The Hamburglar.  Mostly the action of being a burglar.  I think we should change the word burglarized to burgled.  Is that a word? Burgle?  To steal? To burgle? 

Hey girl, let me burgle that burger.

It makes it seem much less scary.

Grimace? That’s a terrible name for anything!  It would be like me naming a child Wince, Moan, Cackle, Grumble, or Bellow. 

Mom, Cackle burgled my french fries.

Skate skat


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I mean, when’s the last time you went rollerskating?  We went Sunday.  Rollerskating rinks are really pretty funny.

There’s tiny kids that fly around the rink like they were born on skates…weaving in and out of all the slow people.  And then there’s their parents slipping and skidding around…holding onto the railing on the outside.

I started holding the rail.  It takes maybe one lap around…and then it all comes back.  Like riding a bike.

Nostalgia.

But for $5…who wouldn’t roll out on a Sunday afternoon and skate hand in hand to some jams?

 

Pants pissing party


So those of you that know me well, know that I am re-obsessed with Pearl Jam and most things 90’s grunge era.  Yes.  It’s true.

So then you will be just as piss-your-pants-excited as I am that Pearl Jam is going to be doing a show in Chicago this July.  Um…yes.  Just pissed my pants.  How about you?  Thanks…I appreciate you pissing in your pants for me.  It’s exciting, I know.

I’ve wanted to see Pearl Jam live since I was in 7th grade.  I remember telling this girl in Earth Science class how much I liked them.  I also remember we decided that we would be able to go see a live concert when we were 16.  She would later become the rumored slut of our class because she had developed early.  I suppose big boobs makes boys think you have sex.  But the rumor turned out to be true. We did not see any concerts.

I also remember this high school kid would wear a Pearl Jam shirt and I thought he was just the coolest thing in the world.  He wasn’t really attractive, but just cool.  So cool.

And times changed a little.  I went to college and got interested in new music that was cooler at the time, and then some hip hop, and then who knows what.  Then I became a mother and lost touch with all reality.  Finally, I can think again.  I have a little sliver of time for myself again.  And I rediscovered my love of music. My love of Pearl Jam and Soundgarden and Stone Temple Pilots and Nirvana and Alice in Chains and Live.  Yeah.  What of it?

So now I finally have that chance to see these bands live.  Soundgarden is back together.  Pearl Jam hasn’t announced their next tour (fingers crossed) yet, but they have announced this show.  This evening with Pearl Jam.  I am beyond pumped.  I am also prepared to spend a good chunk of cash that I don’t really have for this experience.  That’s what credit cards are for.

And I love glitter and Doc Martens.  Boom.