Just having an intense heart to heart with my little friend here….she’s a great listener. Best ever.
I had a grade school teacher that would say ‘good posture is the key to good behavior.’
I always thought it was an evil trick to get us to stop slumping in our chairs and pay attention…. Because although this quiet contemplating pup, while having impeccable posture, is not the most well behaved piece of fur in the pack.
She’s statuesque, yes.
Just give her a minute and she’ll be up on the window trying to get that asshole squirrel, pulling down curtains and drooling all over the furniture.
Isn’t she lovely?
Do not take advice from this pup. She may appear to be waiting patiently for her food dish to be filled, but she is a master of trickery. Trickery for Treat-ery. She is far from patient.
She is staring. Staring at me, and with every move I make, she flinches and gets ready to eat her feast. Her back legs are at attention, ready to spring into action at the slightest gesture.
I reach for my coffee, she bounds into her room ready to scarf it down. I continue working. She trots back, annoyed, and sits down and stares at me again. I reach for my phone, she jumps up. I give her the look and grow annoyed. She sits back in her position and stares at me. She is growing impatient with me. She’s wondering why I am so fucking stupid…why don’t I realize that she is fucking hungry!! She breathes at me. She’s huffing and puffing at me, like a little bratty kid.
It’s not time to eat yet.
‘But Moooooom, I’m starving!!’ I can read her thoughts. She is trying to sway me with her cuteness. I can’t even take it. Look at that friggin face! I have to fucking feed her!!!
This is my poetic puppy morning…
Are you awake?
I’m ready for your hand on my head.
I’m ready for scratches under my chin.
Let’s go for a ride.
I don’t care where.
My tail wags.
I sigh when I lay back down…
I sniff out the window.
Smells like it’s time.
Time to wake up and play and love.
Does she remind you of Tim the Toolman Taylor’s annoying neighbor, Wilson??
Remember how popular that stupid show was? And how everyone did that ridiculous grunting-howling-barking noise?? (I apologize if you are a fan of Tool Time) Do you also remember how all the young girls thought the middle son on the show was oh-so cute and they had posters of him from Teen Beat? What’s his face?? Jonathan Taylor Thomas?
I didn’t like him. I liked Eddie Vedder. Also, no one ever liked the young, whiny, buck-toothed brother in the show…even the older brothers. What an outcast…I wonder where that kid’s career took off to…
My dog is nothing like Wilson. She’s more like Mrs. Doubtfire.