This is how you make a home-made band-aid. Tear off a little piece of paper towel and hold it over the tiny little knife wound on your pinky…the one you got after you accidentally grazed the knife as it laid there, innocently. The cut that shouldn’t have happened. The cut that now leaves an annoying little flap of skin too deep to rip off…but perfect to get caught on sweaters once it has crusted over a bit. Then fumble around for some scotch tape.
Try to hold the paper towel on your finger and also retrieve enough pieces of tape to cover all of the paper towel. Despite the awkward finger fumbling of the sticky substance, you must succeed. We have to cover it all because there is still celery to chop and carrots to peel for this fucking delicious pot roast…and the dreaded tear inducing onions….and you sure don’t want any onion juices seeping into that fresh little cut. You just started!! You can’t back out now!
Of course, this while process could have been avoided had you just bought the damn $3 Frozen movie themed bandages…the ones that aren’t sticky and are too small for an adult sized wound. They’re more like decorative stickers. And why doesn’t Target deliver??