and the secret word is….



It’s about time the kids were introduced to the high flying adventures of Big Top Pee Wee, don’t you agree?

I can’t even remember the first time I saw this movie…and I’m not sure how long ago it was.  As I watch, I am realizing that I don’t remember any of this.  I mean, I remember, but I don’t remember.  I don’t remember the talking pig or the angry townsfolk.  I don’t remember Kris Kristofferson playing the ring leader of the circus in his Indiana Jones attire.  Maybe I remember Pee Wee’s Big Adventure more…the tequila song and the platform shoes with the goldfish in them and Large Marge.  People still do that funny back and forth thumb dance when the song Tequila comes on.

I do seem to recall the egg salad sandwich dripping on Pee Wee’s face…mmm…egg salad-y!

I remember watching Pee Wee’s Playhouse on Saturday mornings when I was a kid and I remember loving it.  I loved the clay-mation opening scene and I loved the aluminum foil ball.  Who could forget Chairy?  I might just have to order all the seasons so that I can relive it every Saturday morning.  I think that the new generation is enjoying it too…my little lovely #2 thinks that it’s pretty funny so far.  So far so good!  Everyone loves that good old Pee Wee giggle.

My friend and I like to drive around, drink coffee, and try to laugh like Pee Wee.  We end up geeking out and laughing so fucking hard we have to wee wee a little pee pee.  See how much joy Pee Wee can bring?



Tangy zip!

I feel dull. 

I don’t seem to have that tangy zip that I want.  How do I get this zip?  I used to have it consistently.  Now it comes and goes. 

I’ve found that sugar makes me zippy.  Caffeine makes me zippy too.  Both of these, to me, are fun yet artificial zips…although I love them.  I do love them.  I don’t want to deprive myself something that I love. 

But where is the homeostasis?  Where is the plateau?  Where is the level headed consistency of zip that I once knew?  Where’s the tangy zip??

Perhaps I buried it away into a box with the notebooks of terribly dark and adolescent poetry I haven’t burned yet?

Or tucked it in the portfolios of awful watercolor paintings I attempted (I was never that great at watercolor…too impatient)?

Stuck in between every single piece of paper that lovely #1 ever put a crayon mark on when she was 2? 

Maybe it got sacrificed to the thrift shop with the piles of unnecessary shit that I seem to accumulate and purge on a regular basis?

I bet it’s lost somewhere in the Tupperware drawer.

No, I bet it’s been right in front of me the whole time…and all the while I’ve been searching, it’s been growing more and more annoyed that I can’t find it. 

Oh, there you are, tangy zip!

Just kidding. I didn’t really find it.  I just thought it would be funny if no one could figure out if I was  searching for something intangible or the tangy zip of Miracle Whip. 

So weak…


Dear coffee, I really miss you.

I am weak. A weakling!!

I had a coffee yesterday. And even though I may be a weakling because if it, I loved every moment as well. I loved it! I’ve always loved coffee and lattes and mochas and all the drizzles and bells and whistles.

Why I stopped…I suppose I was ready to try anything to feel more normal at the time. And…while I definitely don’t feel more normal now, I feel that I have proved to myself that I can if I need to or if I had to.

But I don’t have to.

I can do whatever I want!

Oh, that first warm, delicious, coffee flavored sip mixed with that creamy fluffy whipped cream. You bet your ass I got whipped cream! I tried to savor it…but I may have chugged it. It was so good. So delicious!

It also, of course, delivered the zip that I’ve missed as well. I kind of like the caffeine sweats and the racing thoughts and the shakes a little. It makes the day a little more interesting and makes giggling a little easier.

Dear caffeine, I really missed you too.



Check out this veggie turkey!  Isn’t it hilarious?  I’m so thankful I found it to bring to our open house today.  I volunteered to bring veggies….and giggles.

And thankfully I didn’t have to do all this work. I’ll pay extra for that convenience. 

Look at the pepper gobbler.  Ha! 

I’m tempted to stop for a coffee this morning.  Something delicious and holiday-esque.  Perhaps cinnamon or peppermint?  Perhaps my old fave Americano? 

Will I?  Won’t I?  Should I? Shouldn’t I? 

I don’t know.  I’m torn.  I’ve just been so sleepy lately and I want a good little buzz to get me through this busy day.  But I suppose I know what might happen if I do have coffee…and I’m not sure I want that to happen today. 

Severe #2’s. 

Yep, poop. Diarrhea maybe.  Painful even. 

Maybe I’ll just stick to the veggie turkey platter.  Gobble gobble!

Turning back time


I’ve been slightly obsessed with smoothies as of late. I add the despised wheat grass and spinach and sometimes celery. You know, the good ol greens. Oh that wheat grass….gives me a little gag each time. It’s growing on me though. Sometimes I steep up some black tea and use that instead of juice to get a nice caffeine boost. I suppose I’m trying to quit the coffee. I know, I know….it’s the greatest creation on earth. Perhaps it is just the caffeine I love. Which led me to the black tea. Which I also adore. Also, it’s healthier than juice in the smoothies. Less sugar, more antioxidants. I need to kill all the free radicals I can in this old bod. I’m trying to turn back time here. Cher? Is that you I hear? You’d take back all the words that’ve hurt me??? If you could reach the stars, you’d give them all to me???? Thanks Cher.