I finally had another dream about Eddie Vedder

Thank goodness.  I’ve had many sleeps since my last dream with an Eddie appearance. 

It began at a show. Not a Pearl Jam show, but a sort of lip sync/air guitar variety show.  I was chosen to perform a Tom Petty tune and was pretty stoked to show my skills.  I recall having an awfully strange, blonde, Paige boy wig on.  Perhaps it was my actual hair.  I know not. 

As another performer was onstage, I spotted Eddie. I approached him knowing he would respect that I was in the show.  He was Eddie… although his face was young, pink and dewy, with no beard or sexy stubble in sight.  His curly hair was to his ears and it was so greasy and shiny.  Each curl around his face was shorter and more defined.  Maybe it was because of there being no beard on his face, but his teeth looked bigger and a little bit buck-toothed. 

I approached him and said something to the effect of: Hi Eddie, I just wanted to say that I was at the show in Milwaukee.  Great show, thank you.

The look of confusion and disgust on his shiny unfamiliar face sank my warm, adoring heart.  I walked away, head hanging low… onto my Tom Petty performance.

On stage, I strummed the first bars of the song on my imaginary guitar and leaned into the microphone to lip the opening line of the song.  To my dismay, I lipped the wrong words!! And then my guitar strumming became off beat!! The horror!!

I glanced over at Eddie after my on-stage nose dive.  He shook his glistening head in even more disgust at me.  I felt pitiful. 

Although it wasn’t the dream I dream about… where we become best friends and he brings me on tour to entertain him… I am grateful to have his strangely shiny presence grace my brain.


The brain drain grain game


Gas. Gas…led me to scour the internet for a cure to a rather stinky situation. 

What I found…and self diagnosed myself with…seemed suitable. 


The concept that nutrition having a significant role in overall health is, in my opinion, the only way to live.  Eat junk, feel like junk.  Eat well, feel well. As difficult as that can be when there’s croissants everywhere!! Duh.

What I didn’t know was that grains, and more importantly, wheat, are quite terrible for us.  For most of us, rather.  I’ve always been a firm believer in ‘everything in moderation,’ even though I have an excruciatingly difficult time saying no to sugar.  But bread? Even homemade, unprocessed bread? Pita? Crackers? Pasta? Those buttery croissants??

Could this be the answer?? To the gas?  Perhaps.  Perhaps it could also be the answer to the brain fog, mood swings, insatiable cravings, bumps on the back of my arms, stinging dry eyes, headaches, lethargy, aching joints and muscles, not-quite-right-but-nothing-wrong privates, forgetfulness, brain fog…oh yeah, and brain fog. 

Perhaps it could stop the brain degeneration which I fear is happening to my mother and which I fear will happen to me?? Could it be so simple? Just cut out wheat? Perhaps eventually all grains? But…I’ve never been a firm follower of the gluten-free fad.  Like, really, do carrots need to be labeled as gluten free?  I mean, come on.  Or the whole Paleo fad.  Why does it have to have this trendy hipster label?  ‘Clean eating.’  Everyone wants to call it something. 

It’s annoying.  I don’t want to call it something.  I know I don’t have full blown Celiac disease.  That is no joke, people.  I just want to have a little more homeostasis in my brain and body. 

Hey, I like a doughnut every now and again.

Here I thought sugar was the evil culprit, but it turns out the conspiracy against my sanity goes even further.  Wheat, as it turns out, has a morphine-like fix, which means you crave even more without ever feeling full or satisfied.  It also makes your blood sugar rise higher than after eating a candy bar…and I love candy bars.

Especially Snickers and Whatchamacallits.  Yum.  Oh, and Twix bars! 

Oh this brain…

Left brained. Right brained. Creative and out of the box…logical and orderly. Why must I be equally brained?

I know sometimes it’s beneficial to use both sides of the brain equally. I suppose there are benefits. Mostly I just argue with myself inside my head. Or I argue with other people in my head from both sides…you know, like play out conversations that haven’t happened but might happen.

What would I say with my right brain? What would I say with my left brain? What side of the brain does the person I am pretending to argue with use mostly? Or I flip out with my creative side and then my rational side tries to smooth everything over….either with real people or in my head, again.

It seems the creative side flips out a lot. Totally irrational. Why is creativity sometimes so erratic and irrational and exciting? So crazy and unexpected??

There’s nothing really exciting about order and logic…except for the Vulcan neck pinch. This is why I argue with myself in my head…sometimes out loud too.

Boring vs. Exciting. Black and white vs. color. Order vs. chaos.

Vs. One of my favorite Pearl Jam albums.


Electric dreams

This brain can dream.  It must mean I’m sleeping more soundly lately.  Maybe. 

Except…a lot of my dreams are creepy and action packed.  Or they’re super fucked up and weird….impossible to explain. 

Last night I had an action packed thriller of a dream.  All of the electronic devices in the world were coming alive and killing everyone.  A little transformer-ish, I suppose. 

All the cords turned into outlines of lions and mean elephants.  Cell phones were zapping people with charges. 

There was a mystery man that I was with and we were helping to save each other…because everyone else had gotten cut in half by the tv or fridge or something. 

Isn’t it weird in dreams when you’re with someone and in the dream you know exactly who it is, but then you wake up and you can’t recall anything about them except where you were and what you did?  It’s so fucked up.  It’s so great though.  Dreams are so very cool. 

Although mine was a little creepy, admittedly, I’m impressed with my brain’s way of working all these strange things into an awesome story.  Amazing!