Do you have to let it linger?

It’s not often that I can, in good conscience, make a football joke…BUT…I feel like Tom Brady’s balls….uh…footballs.  Deflated.

My super cool bootcamp in New York City was canceled a few weeks ago.  The founder is simply too successful in her newest company and doesn’t have the time to devote to the camp currently.  I’ve been trying to be optimistic about it and trying my best not to get too salty about it.  But I have to admit….I’m salty.  I think my lingering saltiness is because the annoying tidbits are still not tied up.  I can’t quite wash my hands clean of this bad vibe until everything is resolved.

The main thing up in the air is money.

Ugh, the root of all evil.  I shut down my fundraising page only to have the site send me all the money instead of refund back to individual donors.  Not a huge deal.  I’ve been waiting on this money for 3 weeks.  I know it’s not lost and I know it’s all going to be just fine…but I want it to be over.  I want to either find another class to take or to give all the money back.  That’s it.  It’s like laying on a bed with an annoying pea under the mattress that only I can feel.  Wait, does that make me a princess?

I suppose it’s a sign from the great beyond that now is not the time.  Maybe now is not the time for me to meet inspiring people and learn about entrepreneurship.  Maybe I’m not meant to do this.  Maybe I’m meant to do what I’m currently doing.  Maybe I should stop changing my mind everyday?!?  I just don’t know.  My gut says otherwise.

Maybe…I should write silly little blogs everyday.


Dear diary…

Nothing makes me more nervous than sitting next to someone that is reading my blog. 

Such pressure.  And awkwardness. 

It’s like watching someone read your diary outloud at your birthday party.

It’s like bawling your eyes out to a complete stranger. 

It’s like farting on a wooden chair next to a microphone on stage during your middle school band concert.

It’s like when someone asks ‘how are you?’ and you reply ‘you’re welcome.’ 

It’s like making eye contact with the person in the car next to you over and over on accident. 

It’s like when you have to borrow a bathing suit from someone and it is obviously going to be far too small in certain areas.  Painfully small.


Will they giggle or snicker or chuckle?  Will they chortle?  Lord, what if they chortle while I’m next to them?  I can’t chortle along.  I can’t chortle at my own blog!  Why why why?!?


Here’s to dreaming big!!!

Side note: upon writing the word dreaming on my ‘smart phone,’ it automatically changed it to steaming.  So the sentencing read: here’s to steaming big!!!  Sounds like I was excited about a really giant crap. 

At any rate, dreaming big….I hope that you all keep on dreaming.  When I think back to ideas that I had for myself at the age of 30, they did not include anything close to what I’ve actually done.  But I still dream.  I dream for the future, I dream about the past, and I dream for my mental health. 

It’s healthy….er, I think. 

It’s fun to imagine making a movie or writing a book or traveling the world.  Wouldn’t it be great if I win that lottery tomorrow?

And I actually bought a lottery ticket yesterday.  I don’t normally.  It’s weird.  I saw this neon pink sign at the grocery store and because someone took the time to sharpie the winnings on that piece of paper, I had to buy it. 

Do I realistically think I’ll win?  Nah.  But if I did…oh, what blog adventures I would have to share. 

And that is the true reason why I dream: material for my blog.