Ah, yes, the obligatory birthday post


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Today is my birthday.  I am now 34.

I welcome my birthday much like people welcome the plague.  While I pretend to enjoy the new internal struggles of ‘oh fuck, now I’m 34 and still haven’t made any progress towards what I really want to do with my life,’ I also pretend to enjoy questions about myself and my birthday plans.  I deflect. 

It’s a strange thing…attention.  It makes me slightly uncomfortable when it’s something I don’t have any control over.  Birthday? I didn’t do anything to get praise for that.  It just happened one day.  It happened to my mom, mostly.  I may have been 10 pounds and it may have been painful. Work hard and try to make something of your life?  Meh…everyone does that, right?

I have no significant birthday plans.  It’s -5 degrees outside right now.  Plans? Really?  I’m wearing two scarves for crying out loud!  It’s a double scarf birthday!

As I reflect on my past year and sketch out a new framework for this coming 34th year, I try to remember all the things I used to want… the things that I told myself I wouldn’t forget to do when I got a little older. Maybe most of them are unachievable.  But maybe they’re not!  Good lord, I hope they’re not….

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Happy 50th birthday to my favorite!!


Eddie. Eddie Vedder.  I love that man.

And he is 50!  I was never quite certain of Eddie’s age… 50. So great.  I’m happily envisioning him kicking back, drinking wine, rosy cheeked, squeezing his kids.  I hope he’s savoring some delicious morsels and belly laughing with his best friends. 

I sincerely hope that when I’m 50 I’ve inspired some young people.  I also hope I’m rosy cheeked and belly laughing.  That is happiness. 

Thanks, Eddie!  Happy birthday!!

Young or old??


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Today I am 32 years and 364 days…which means that, yes, tomorrow is my birthday.

It means I’ll be 12 years past doing 21 shots and 15 years past buying cigarettes and voting. 

17 years past 16. 

I’m only 7 years away from being over the hill but I’m only about halfway to retirement…or death. 

I’m one month away from having a fucking 9 year old, brilliant, hilarious,  pre-pubescent lady.  And 6 weeks away from also having my youngest kid turn 6.  6!  For fuck’s sake!

Thankfully, I’m 15 minutes into this glass of wine…

If we were rhyming and we said that 32 is all about you..or 32 and feeling blue…

…then 33 is all about me! 

…or 33, poop and pee.

Happy birfday brudda


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Today is my brother’s birthday.  He’s older than me….older and sometimes wiser.

So cheers to my buddy.  When I was a toddler and couldn’t say his real name, I called him Dodo…or Dodie.

Cheers to all the stories of driving me around and stopping so I could throw up on the side of the road after drinking too much.

Cheers to always getting to be the cool wrestler and beating the shit out of me.

Cheers to the figure 4 leg lock and to the rainbow twist.

Cheers to playing soccer and baseball on the side of the garage and playing football off the roof with Chris Pletcher.

Cheers to eating gallons of ice cream during the summers and for stealing all mom’s change so we could buy candy from the gas station.

Cheers to your trusty blue Camry.

Cheers to never letting me win any video games or basketball.

Cheers to going to see Counting Crows and Live with me and smoking hand rolled tobacco. 

Cheers to eating about $45 worth of cocktail shrimp at mom’s house. 

Cheers to miniature golfing in Michigan. 

Cheers to Dodie!!!

And yesterday was a double midget day…


So I’m 32.  It feels pretty stellar.  Yesterday my friend said that women are their most beautiful at 36, so I’m working up to that.  Shit, a lot can happen in 4 years. 

I intend to practice some gratitude this birthday year and here are the things I am most grateful for since Wednesday.

*free bday coffee (I may or may not have prepped lovely #2 to help with that one)

*a job that I really love and working with people that make me laugh and appreciate my strange-ness

*cash

*birthday cheeseburgers and tacos

*free birthday cake

*Pina coladas with friends (obviously we call them penis coladas…which then morphs into turd-a-coladas…don’t ask me quite why

*tums

*friends that make you beautiful handmade things.

*friends who buy flasks as gifts

*spotting a midget walking his dog

*anyone that will sing a song to me on my voicemail

*coffee and pie

*the coziness of my bed after having to get up and get 2 stubborn people ready and bring them to school

*those 2 little stubborn people

*my wife-pup

*spotting another midget in the same day across town…this one was an extra tiny old woman.  Fascinating.

*taking the double midget sighting as some kind of sign…and hoping that there will be more double midget days this year. 

Bring on the summertime birthday


Both my husband and I have birthdays in February….and we live in the Midwest.  The weather can be frightful and make for dangerous and annoying celebrating. 

This past year, while out and about and freezing on my birthday, we decided there should be a way to pick a beautiful, warm summer day to celebrate.  Now, anyone can just pick a day and have a party at their house….but there has to be free birthday drinks involved. 

No bartender is giving out anything free on a random summer day when your ID says your birthday is in the middle of winter.  It’s like there should be a way that you can waive your actual birthday and choose the day you want to celebrate.

If I ever own a bar, I will instill summertime birthday IOUs.  It could look like a little fake ID and have a beautiful summertime theme. 

I like this idea.