Am I turning into my character?

Who out there in writing land has felt as though they turned into their characters or one of their characters?

I realize that a lot of what we write, we take from our own personal experiences.  I get it.

But my character has been creeping too much into my head lately…and too much into my life!  Yes, she was initially inspired by me…because that’s what I know.  After exaggerating her personality and thinking about her life and thought process and adding new idiosyncracies, I feel as though I am taking on her traits.  It is consuming me…which is either a great thing for writing or an awful thing for my brain.

Is this how method actors feel?  How do they become like someone else and then snap back into themselves when their movie/show/whatever is over?

I AM Abraham Lincoln, dammit.

Is method writing a thing?  It must be…everything is a thing, it seems.

The silver lining…is that I created this person.  I can make her into whatever I want.  So if I need to improve my disposition, I’ll just improve her disposition.  I’ll have her turn into the sweetest, funniest, friendliest mother fucker I can think of and change everything about the whole story.  Because I can.

Hell, maybe the prize patrol will show up at her door with a giant check and balloons!!!  Maybe then life will imitate art??  Right?

Though shalt not wallow


You never know what you’ll find in the bargain priced book section of Barnes and Noble!  From mandala coloring books to paleo cookbooks to this little self help gem…

It made me think about how so much of what we read nowadays is found online (ahem…this blog, for instance) yet the most amazing books, magazines, and knick knacks we find are because we wander and browse.  There is no one behind a computer across the country figuring out my browsing preferences and suggesting things through advertising.

The charm of a bookstore.  It’s the only comforting place within the bowels of February.  And even though it’s a large bookstore, not a cute little mom and pop book shop, it’s still a favorite.  My soon-to-be ten year old says to me as we left the bookstore the other day: I just love the bookstore.  I love the way it smells and how quiet it is and all the books. I just love it!

So I’m not wallowing about that.

I’m trying not to wallow at all…and although it is difficult because I am a pale skinned, vitamin D deficient, polar vortex inhabitant, I’m slowly coming to the surface like a little ice cube bobbing to the surface of a fruity rum drink.  What I wouldn’t give for a crisp margarita in some 75 degree sunshine.  Yes, to all you people that don’t live in cold climates, yes, there are some of us that do sink into a little gray, seasonal depressive, funk-ball.  It stinks.  But we’re not wallowing!!

You wouldn’t believe the amount of things we can accomplish when it’s 55 degrees and sunny, truly…but now it is wintertime….and we’re trapped in darkness.  Alas, there’s books to read and books to write and angsty emotions to convey through an insignificant little blog.  We are not wallowing though, thanks to the bargain priced books!

(I’ll have you know, I thought long and hard about purchasing that book and while I found it endearing and reasonably priced, I couldn’t pull the trigger…because that would mean that I actually was giving in to my wallowing.  I’m very un-constructive about my wallowing.  I will not give in!  I will not let it happen!  Sorry, little book, but thank you for being written…love you!)

Things that make me think I can write better

When I’m trying to be a productive writer, and I use the term writer quite loosely, there are a few things that I like to use to trick my brain into being more focused….and hopefully more creative and clear.

*Eddie Vedder radio on Pandora (this is an obvious one…obviously!)

*I wear shoes.  Yes, I wear shoes.  It makes me think that I am going to work, and am therefore more productive.  Sometimes I’m snuggled up in a blanket at 1 a.m. with shoes on.  It’s a tough job, people.  The struggle is real.

*Hoods and scarves.  I cocoon my whole head up so that only my eyes can peek out.  I like to think that it keeps the creative juices warm and toasty and traps them so they can only escape through my chubby little fingers.

*Candy…love a good sugar buzz

*Caffeine…nothing helps out that sugar buzz like a little eyeball-popping caffeine.  Lately, I’ve just taken to drinking a double shot of espresso.  No latte, no cappuccino, no americano….just gimme the good stuff.  It helps my fingers type faster and with much less precision.

*Yellow legal pads, post it notes, and my favorite rollerball pens.  Sometimes, simply shopping for these items and never opening the packages is helpful in writing….it encourages that intention to write something important.

*Cooking something in the crock pot.  This one is huge.  As a mother and wife and general do-everything-in-the-household type of person…it really helps me focus when I know that dinner/lunch/whatever is cooking itself.  Multi-tasking at its finest!!

*sometimes I venture into Twisted Sister radio on Pandora too…for a little energy boost.