must. resist. the. candy.


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It’s here.  The day after trick or treating.  The day when the candy bowls are overflowing with the best of the best.  I’m talking Snickers bars and Butterfingers and Skittles and Tootsie Pops.  Laffy Taffy and Peanut Butter M&M’s.

I die.

I must resist.  I must resist.  I must can’t resist.

Sorry kids!  Your mom is a sugar addict and once you go outside to play she will pilfer through your bowl for the best candy and demolish it.  Then she will allow you one single piece after dinner…and then once you are sleeping cozily in your beds, she will gorge on the rest of the chocolates and taffies and sour hard candies you worked so hard to collect.

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Super-stitious


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Friday the 13th?  Full moon?

Sounds like the makings of an awesomely terrible sci fi comedy/thriller starring on screen love interests Ian Ziering and Candace Cameron.  The villain, a superstitious werewolf, would be played by my newly appointed favorite, Rick Moranis.  Guest appearances by Dolly Parton, Keanu Reeves, and Dave Coulier.

Side note…I recently just learned that Dave Coulier is the rumored subject of Alanis Morrisette’s famous song, You Outta Know.  Blew my mind.  Uncle Joey?? From Full House??? Broke Alanis’s heart?  And gave her a cross eyed bear?!?  Inconceivable. 

I imagine this made-for-tv movie to become a cult favorite…if not for the mind blowing storyline and acting, but for the kick ass soundtrack.  More music than talking, perhaps. We’ll even throw an Alanis song in there when Dave ironically bites the bullet. 

It’s like rain on your wedding day…

A grab bag, if you will…


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I bought ombre curtains…

I was torn between these and some blue striped nubbly ones.  The deciding factor was there were only 3 of the striped ones and I didn’t really want to ask anyone working if there was another one in the back.  Basically I didn’t want to talk to anyone. 

While strolling the aisles, the employees were busy stocking and what not.  They were all so happy!  Honestly, I’m not being sarcastic. One group by the outdoor furniture was talking about how much they love Rick Moranis.

Um, hell yes!  Ghostbusters? Honey, I shrunk the kids?  Spaceballs?? Strange Brew?  Yes.

I smiled.

I saw so many people that were so happy to see each other at work.  It was impressive.  Sometimes it feels like people hate being at work and there’s this awful energy…but not at this Target today.  And it’s raining and cold today. 

I also just discovered this great Pandora station titled 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s hits.  From Foxy Lady to Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch?  Yes, I’ll take it. 

And I was able to make a father’s day card decision from the wall of cards.  I went for simple and classic…nothing gushy…don’t forget about your dads this weekend, people!!

Watch a classic Rick Moranis movie with your dad and admire your new curtains and freshly painted walls…just do it.

Today is great because…


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Because the smell of lilacs is filling up my kitchen.

Because Pearl Jam tickets go on sale today at 10 am!! Get ready Eddie!!

Because it’s sunny.

Because I’m loving the new color of my kitchen.

Because I feel lighter because I’m ‘thinking thin’ and giggling about it.

Because Lovely #1 is dressed up in a lab coat and carrying a panda for career day…she’s an aspiring veterinarian.

Because I am independent and strong.

Because my big leggy dog gets to ride along on the school drop now that it’s nice outside…and stick her floppy face out the window and sneeze from all the smelly wind.

Because all my laundry is done and the rotation starts over…meaning I can wear my favorites.

Because because because because because….Because of the wonderful things he does…we’re of too see the wizard!!!

Again…the lilacs!!

Black and white


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This is my poetic puppy morning…

Hullooo
Are you awake?
I’m ready for your hand on my head.
I’m ready for scratches under my chin.
Let’s go for a ride.
I don’t care where.
My tail wags.
I sigh when I lay back down…
Waiting.
Waiting.
I sniff out the window.
Smells like it’s time.
Time to wake up and play and love.
Treats!
Treats!

Cripple


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I don’t think my hands work anymore.  I spent most of my memorial day weekend painting walls…I take that back…most of the time was spent painting trim and corners and what not.

See, painting walls with a roller is the fun part.  It’s easy.  It goes fast.  I’d paint for a living if I could only use a roller…but that trim, I tell ya.

All the piddly details are crippling.  Especially when you’re covering up the ugliest colors ever.  Even my lovely #1, who is 9 and has impeccable taste for interior design, wondered why anyone would paint anything such an ugly color.

4 long years I’ve looked at this awful dusty, dirty, rosy mauve.  It is not mauvelous…

Ha, see what I did there?

Tweet


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These birds…they’re pretty pissed I’m sitting in their front yard, enjoying the morning sun. 

They’re tweeting to all their bird friend followers:

If this bitch doesn’t get off my lawn, I’m shitting in her teeth.

I’m gonna peck the eyeballs out of her spying face.

Fml, the annoying neighbor lady is back to chat.

Immortality


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You may not know the importance of the outfit I am wearing today…I didn’t connect the dots until moments after I heard the news. 

Turns out…my ultimate band, Pearl Jam, announced additional dates to their fall tour.  Um, guess who’s city is on the list???

Um, yeah, obviously…this girl’s. 

Ecstatic!! 

My town, my backyard, my turf, my people…my favorite songs played in my favorite city…for me (and only me)!

Surely I know someone who knows someone who can get me backstage?? Surely I can bribe someone’s brother’s cousin to let me into the sanctuary that is the backstage?? Or sound check?? I would be ok sitting on the sidelines for sound check. 

Or….secretly cheersing some bottles of beer together at one of the city’s best dive bars.  With the whole band and crew and even all the wives and shit too.  Yeah, I would be ok with that. 

The outfit.  Strangely enough, I am wearing the same outfit that I wore to my very first Pearl Jam show in Chicago at Wrigley last summer.  And there I was scrolling through my Facebook news feed…which I mostly despise…and there it was.  Music for me!!

When you choose clothes, the universe knows…and it makes things happen that mean something…and if you pay attention, you find these strange connections all over the place.

I am hoping there is some connection that leads my hand to shake Eddie’s….eh, who am I kidding, I need a hug. I deserve a hug!!!!

Purse curse


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Curse this purse…or rather, this purse is cursed.

I think this is one of the only things that I have truly despised from Target. And I had high hopes for it…my cute little pink clutch. It fit all my things perfectly.

Well, after about a week, she zipped no more.  Sometimes if I zipped strategically and slow, with my face super close to it watching the links go in and out of the zipper head, it would zip…but then halfway up, split again. 

Then I’d try the encouraging, speedy, staccato back and forth zips….I think, maybe if I just zip it back and forth like I’m trying to start a fire, it’ll catch and amazingly zip for me. 

And it might.  But then I’d have to eventually unzip it again…for money or some other annoying reason and go through the same song and dance again.

What’s most impressive and also maddening is just how long a person, meaning me, will put up with such an annoying daily nuisance.

Months.  Yes, months.  At least 3…no more than 5.