Hidey Ho, Neighbor


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Does she remind you of Tim the Toolman Taylor’s annoying neighbor, Wilson?? 

Remember how popular that stupid show was?  And how everyone did that ridiculous grunting-howling-barking noise??  (I apologize if you are a fan of Tool Time) Do you also remember how all the young girls thought the middle son on the show was oh-so cute and they had posters of him from Teen Beat?  What’s his face?? Jonathan Taylor Thomas?

I didn’t like him.  I liked Eddie Vedder.  Also, no one ever liked the young, whiny, buck-toothed brother in the show…even the older brothers.  What an outcast…I wonder where that kid’s career took off to…

My dog is nothing like Wilson.  She’s more like Mrs. Doubtfire. 

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Immortality


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You may not know the importance of the outfit I am wearing today…I didn’t connect the dots until moments after I heard the news. 

Turns out…my ultimate band, Pearl Jam, announced additional dates to their fall tour.  Um, guess who’s city is on the list???

Um, yeah, obviously…this girl’s. 

Ecstatic!! 

My town, my backyard, my turf, my people…my favorite songs played in my favorite city…for me (and only me)!

Surely I know someone who knows someone who can get me backstage?? Surely I can bribe someone’s brother’s cousin to let me into the sanctuary that is the backstage?? Or sound check?? I would be ok sitting on the sidelines for sound check. 

Or….secretly cheersing some bottles of beer together at one of the city’s best dive bars.  With the whole band and crew and even all the wives and shit too.  Yeah, I would be ok with that. 

The outfit.  Strangely enough, I am wearing the same outfit that I wore to my very first Pearl Jam show in Chicago at Wrigley last summer.  And there I was scrolling through my Facebook news feed…which I mostly despise…and there it was.  Music for me!!

When you choose clothes, the universe knows…and it makes things happen that mean something…and if you pay attention, you find these strange connections all over the place.

I am hoping there is some connection that leads my hand to shake Eddie’s….eh, who am I kidding, I need a hug. I deserve a hug!!!!

I am not athletic.


The lovelies and I caught a few ice skating performances on the Olympics last night. 

I remember being young and watching in awe…gawking at the girls in sparkly outfits spinning and hurtling themselves through the chilly air.  I always wondered how they got those nude colored leggings around their skates without tearing holes in them. 

There was a woman who skated to Pink Floyd last night.  Shine on you crazy diamond. 

I began to think of all the great songs I would skate to if I were talented and not a weak ankled, fat knee’d, awkward faced, cynical mom with unachievable, athletic, childhood dreams. 

Of course, you know me, and I would have to skate to Eddie.  I noticed everyone tries to skate to beautiful and moving pieces of music.  I would have to make a medley of Pearl Jam.   A little Chris Cornell and Soundgarden action could be great too. 

Maybe Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch? Color Me Badd??  Vanilla Ice???  Salt n Peppa?  Matchbox 20??  Stone Temple Pilots?  Nirvana???

Grunge is like poetry, arguably, and so is ice skating, I guess. 

I could wear a signature Cobain cardigan.  I could have a pair of Doc Marten ice skates fashioned as well.

I wouldn’t smile.  I would keep an air of angst and dirt and just enough self doubt.  I might even flip people off but I would school some fucking ice skating haters.  I would be so good on those triple axles and so visually and musically ironic, no one could handle it. 

I would be the best role model for young girls.  My own kids would roll their eyes and say, ugh mom, not Pearl Jam again. 

For Maggie and Rita and Sarah


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I got new Doc Martens! They’re red…as you can see. I shouldn’t have gotten them, budget wise.

But I was at the mall…and they just called out to me from across the walkway. They looked so sad.  They looked like they needed new feet to call home.  They needed me!  How could I just walk away? How could I just turn my back on them? Have I no heart?  Have I no soul??  I mean, they match the new Pearl Jam album…

Needless to say, we’ve been living happily ever after.

On another note, Tremors 2: The Aftershock is mildly entertaining but not nearly as good without Kevin Bacon.  It’s like Ghostbusters without Bill Murray. It’s like Aladdin without that Gilbert guy as the parrot voice!!  Not the same. 

On another note, during the viewing of this film, I may or may not have eaten most off the chocolate bars from the children’s Halloween candy.  Those Twix bars stole my heart too.  They needed me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

And I needed them.

And did you know there’s a Tremors 3?? Not sticking around for this one.

Man of my dreams


Oh, joy! Don’t you love when you love your dreams? I do. And I loved my dreams last night.

Eddie Vedder made an appearance.

Not just an appearance, actually. He played a major role. Pearl Jam was playing in a mall and there were only maybe 6 people there, cheering…because it was some surprise appearance. My chance to get up close and personal! I brushed his arm hair. The hair on his head was silver, which I thought was strange. They went from playing to us hugging and taking photos together. The silver Vedder.

Unfortunately I woke up.

Fortunately, the dream continued when I fell back asleep!!! I love that! Next scene, we were on a mountain. Some other guy fell off the side. Eddie’s hair was still silver. There was a love connection. I’m sure of it.

Eddie…live


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I made it to see Pearl Jam in Chicago on July 19th. If you’ve been following my blog, you know how epic this was for me to do. I’ve been wanting to see Pearl Jam live since I was 12.

This is probably the best photo I have from the most expensive nose bleed seats in Wrigley (which was over half paid for by my stellar co-workers!!).

Despite a two hour rain delay 7 songs in, and a two hour train delay on the way home, I loved it!!!

They played so many of my personal faves…Release, Nothingman, Small Town, Corduroy, Evolution, Faithfull, Even Flow, Setting Forth (from the into the wild soundtrack), and State of Love and Trust.

It. Was. Amazing.

Return to writing


Well, blog….I’ve neglected you yet again.  I’ve been thinking about you.  I’ve been thinking about all the things I could be telling you about. 

I’m working my way up to it, I suppose. 

Since we’ve started a new month and all, I thought I would tease the world with an annoyingly unimpressive blog post.

Tune in next week for more nostalgic blurbs about the 90’s, Eddie Vedder, my juicer, and other tidbits. 

Thanks in advance for reading!! 

My so called dog


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Doesn’t she remind you of Claire Danes from My So-Called Life? 

Grunge dog.  The more I thought about it yesterday, the more it made me giggle.  I mean, she dresses in all black, wears a choker necklace, is technically in her teen years, has dirty hair and always looks bitterly depressed.  

I’m sure she writes poetry at 3 am. 

Even her breed matches.  Great Dane? Claire Danes?  It was meant to be! 

It’s just too bad that she can’t marry Jordan Catalano and have little grunge puppies in cardigan sweaters.  She’s stuck with me.  She’s my wife-pup, Jordan!!! Go shake that hair and blink those blue eyes at someone else.  Dick.