Thank goodness. I’ve had many sleeps since my last dream with an Eddie appearance.
It began at a show. Not a Pearl Jam show, but a sort of lip sync/air guitar variety show. I was chosen to perform a Tom Petty tune and was pretty stoked to show my skills. I recall having an awfully strange, blonde, Paige boy wig on. Perhaps it was my actual hair. I know not.
As another performer was onstage, I spotted Eddie. I approached him knowing he would respect that I was in the show. He was Eddie… although his face was young, pink and dewy, with no beard or sexy stubble in sight. His curly hair was to his ears and it was so greasy and shiny. Each curl around his face was shorter and more defined. Maybe it was because of there being no beard on his face, but his teeth looked bigger and a little bit buck-toothed.
I approached him and said something to the effect of: Hi Eddie, I just wanted to say that I was at the show in Milwaukee. Great show, thank you.
The look of confusion and disgust on his shiny unfamiliar face sank my warm, adoring heart. I walked away, head hanging low… onto my Tom Petty performance.
On stage, I strummed the first bars of the song on my imaginary guitar and leaned into the microphone to lip the opening line of the song. To my dismay, I lipped the wrong words!! And then my guitar strumming became off beat!! The horror!!
I glanced over at Eddie after my on-stage nose dive. He shook his glistening head in even more disgust at me. I felt pitiful.
Although it wasn’t the dream I dream about… where we become best friends and he brings me on tour to entertain him… I am grateful to have his strangely shiny presence grace my brain.