I’m not avoiding you


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I like hiding out.

Duality.  That’s the word I’m looking for.  Or recluse……introvert perhaps.

I’ve been trying to put into words or tangible thoughts the dual world that I sometimes feel I live. 

Let me explain.  I have a very social job.  I must be the day-maker for my people and I must be chatty and all that greatness.  I have to try to be the best part of their day.  I enjoy it, I really do, it’s a blast. 

Then, when I have my time to myself, I prefer to not speak for hours.  I prefer to be alone.  If I’m out shopping and I see someone I might know, I might pretend not to see them, and I might dodge into another aisle. 

It’s just that I’m not prepared to be on.  I’m not in that role in that moment and I honestly just don’t want to disappoint them.  I’m not as personable and funny as when I’m working. 

It’s the right versus the left brain yet again.  Everyday. 

Introvert.  I think that’s the correct word.  I need alone time to recharge. 

I like to hide under napkins in the sunlight, much like lovely #1. 

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