I tell you, nothing is more of a motivator to clean and scrub your house than finding mouse poop on the edge of your butter dish. Those little scavenging fuckers.
I’m sure it’s because it’s been negative degrees for many many days now, and because those little Houdini’s can squeeze through the smallest of cracks. While I feel sympathy for animals left out in the cold, I feel no sympathy for this little turd maker and his whole fuzzy turd maker family. I wonder how long this has been going on behind the scenes? Is there a new crop of babies down there somewhere??
I am pretty tidy and observant, but I admit my house has been quite crunchy lately.
I spied the mouse shit yesterday. Immediately, I got in the car and went to buy the twisty mouse traps that lock the little shitheads in. You never have to see them…you only see the little red line pointing to the words: mouse caught.
I admit, I think mice are kind of cute. All that cuteness goes right out the mother fucking window when there’s one helping himself to spreading butter on the toast crumbs piled behind my toaster! Those are OUR toast crumbs, rodent.
Needless to say, the kitchen, and whole house actually, are now crunch free. So, I actually kind of need to thank the little fuzzy bastard for initiating the deep clean that needed to happen to my house.
He’s dead now.