Nothing makes me more nervous than sitting next to someone that is reading my blog.
Such pressure. And awkwardness.
It’s like watching someone read your diary outloud at your birthday party.
It’s like bawling your eyes out to a complete stranger.
It’s like farting on a wooden chair next to a microphone on stage during your middle school band concert.
It’s like when someone asks ‘how are you?’ and you reply ‘you’re welcome.’
It’s like making eye contact with the person in the car next to you over and over on accident.
It’s like when you have to borrow a bathing suit from someone and it is obviously going to be far too small in certain areas. Painfully small.
Will they giggle or snicker or chuckle? Will they chortle? Lord, what if they chortle while I’m next to them? I can’t chortle along. I can’t chortle at my own blog! Why why why?!?