2 garbage bags full of dog shit, drooling down my sweatshirt, face throbbing…it was a productive day. It all began at my favorite place! The dentist! The inside of my cheek is all raw and bloody, I think I got a cut on my lip, my face was numb for like 5 hours, I could barely feel my tongue. I felt like my skin had melted off my face and all that was left was a protruding Jay Leno chin. I was freezing. Someone should design heated dental chairs. They can make them for cars, why not for dentists? I mean, they go back and forth and up and down…add some heat, Doc! This should’ve been the last visit for a few months at least, so we’ll be celebrating over cocktails this evening.
We’ll also be celebrating because the snow has melted, the rain clouds have cleared, and the poop does not remain. I gave in and picked it all up. There was a lot of shit out there! Why I decided to torment myself just a little more after the dentist and scoop poop, I’ll never know.
It was gratifying!! No more bombs in the back..until tomorrow when she deuces again. Maybe the pain in my jaw made up for the poop. Maybe it was like my punishment for waiting so long to pick it up…and for waiting so long to go to the dentist all these years.
Maybe it just so happens that this is the only day that I can actually accomplish these things? Nah, it was destiny! To prove that to myself, I bought myself a little something. And now, drinks!!!!