cop or boy scout?

I stopped at Target on my way home this evening.  I didn’t need to buy anything, I just wanted to walk around by myself and look at things.  I also really really had to use the restroom.  #1, if you must know.

I rarely stop use the restroom before I leave work because I just want to go.  I don’t want to get trapped.  So, sometimes by the time I get home, I’m like one sneeze away from an accident (my friend Rebecca likes that phrase).

At any rate, I pull into the parking lot and there’s this boy-looking mall cop zooming around the parking lot on a segway!  A segway?  Really?  This may be a high volume Target, but at no rate is this the Macy’s or BMW’s of department stores.  Are there that many people stealing shopping carts?  Do you get in trouble now if you don’t put your cart in the corral?

So there he is…just zooming up and down the aisles of the lot at a zippity speed.  He probably should’ve given himself a ticket.  There really is no reason to rush around looking at nothing.  One woman kept on staring at him and wasn’t watching where she was walking and nearly ran into an SUV that wasn’t pulled into its parking spot all the way.  I actually stopped my car because I thought he was in a race for safety!

As I walked to the front door, I had this creepy feeling that he was segway-ing up behind me.  I didn’t want to keep turning around and looking but I could hear the robo-zip of the scooter.  I kept trying to peep out my peripheral vision but he wasn’t there.  He must’ve been right behind me.  I could feel him.

I hurried my pace to get inside.  The whirring of the mechanical wheels stopped as the doors opened for me.  I looked around and he was right there.  Right behind me. I knew it!

Ugh!!!  Creepy!  Especially since he looked like an adolescent…acne, no facial hair, curly blondish hair, glasses, reflective safety vest, and a badge.  A badge!  Poor kid.  He was probably in his 20’s, but looked about 14.  It’s too bad.  Someone should make him a man…maybe he’d grow some facial hair after getting laid.  But I’m not volunteering.  Ew.  He might try to use his badge!



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