mental dental


I’m having a beer…out of a pretty mug.

I can’t believe this…after 2 rounds of agonizingly anxiety-ridden dentist visits, I must return.  Only this time, I’ll need more awful work.  The appointment is already scheduled for Monday.  Now, the appointment will have to change.  Today, while eating a bagel (of all things), my tooth that is already being worked on cracked and broke.  I am staring at a piece of it right now.  It doesn’t hurt or anything, so don’t worry about that.  The embarrassment is enough.  The pieces of that particular tooth have no feelings, just like fish.

My students were finishing watching an inspirational video, and I was taking the last few bites of a bagel (a free bagel from the powers that be- coincidence?)…and

crrrunch.

look at it...sick little disgusting reason for dental care

It broke and then I chewed it a little.  Sick sick sick!  I spat it out and stared at it.  Then I wiped it off on a paper towel and put it in my pocket.  Who does that?  Who puts pieces of their tooth in their pocket?  I do, I suppose.  Ugh, this is so embarrassing.

I’ve done a disservice to my mouth and my teeth.  I am being totally punished for not being an avid flosser like my mom and for liking cherry coke.  Shit!  Look at my fucking tooth!  Disgusting.  I feel like I should just drink liquified meals through straws for the rest of my life.  I don’t want to smile, but it’s really actually very funny.  I don’t want to eat anything for fear of all the teeth in my mouth crumbling like in many many vivid dreams that I’ve had.

Maybe this has to do with the dental process?  Rig the teeth so that it’s only a matter of time before something breaks, falls out, decays, crumbles, turns gray, yellow, or any shade of tooth that doesn’t match the others.  I can only imagine the intensities that lie before me this time.  Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck!!!

Here’s the thing…I’m really pretty embarrassed by my mental dental state.  I don’t like to talk about what is actually wrong, but even just to say that I am having dental work done is typically enough, right?  Anytime anyone has to visit their friendly dentist for a check up, I feel for them.  Sitting under those piercing bright lights.  It’s like an interrogation.

When was the last time you flossed?  How many up and down brushstrokes do you make over every tooth?

Please!  It wasn’t me!  I swear I use fluoride!  I swear it!

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2 thoughts on “mental dental

  1. Oh my gosh, that happened to me, too. I was out with friends for dinner, and I’m sure everyone heard the cruuunnncchhhhh. I put the piece of my tooth in my pocket as well (I guess we’re both weird).

    I wrote about my dental experiences as well. It’s absured how expensive it is, and how equally necessary.

    Good luck to you! Here’s my dentla post: http://collectivedisclosure.wordpress.com/2011/01/06/healing-hand-of-god-and-a-root-canal/

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