#2


So the man had to cleanse himself.  Does that mean that he had to lock the door?  Doesn’t he know that you shouldn’t ever lock the bathroom door when you are still refining the potty training skills of a toddler?  Doesn’t he know that because the door is closed…and locked…that she will have to go?  I’m not talking #1 either…I’m talking #2.  I think it’s just the way of the universe.

Locked door…must poop.

And so that is exactly what she did.  She squoze that log right out into her pants.  Yes, she did.  She told me she had to go and she told me daddy was in the bathroom…she knew it was coming.  That is all that we want to teach kids during potty training: to tell us when it’s coming so we can get them to a bathroom.

Of course, in the 7 minutes that the door was locked, she shat her pants….just stood outside the bathroom door and pooped.  The poor thing!  She just couldn’t get in there!  Then I have to knock on the door and mister mister gets all huffy puffy about not having 10 minutes alone to himself in the shower…and I have to yell that Lovely #2 just shat her pants.  It is awfully annoying to get out of the shower and open the door with shampoo all in your hair and you get the whole bathroom soaked by having to walk your wet ass across.  Then I get angry that the whole bathroom floor is wet and I say something like do you shower with the curtain open?  I step in a big puddle and soak my socks and get even angrier…all the while there’s a big Baby Ruth in Lovely’s undies.

At least I made a nice breakfast of bacon and eggs.

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