I can’t make up my mind.
I am a little neurotic today…and yesterday, and let’s face it…nearly everyday. Sorry.
The serious trouble is:
I can not explain in words what I am making my mind up about. All I know is my brain feels a little all over the place. I don’t know what to think about and when I think about something I wonder if I should be thinking about it. What if someone finds out that I am thinking these things? What am I thinking? Is it a matter of life and death?
Not really. It’s basically ‘should I have cereal or tacos?’ ‘Should I get up or sit longer?’ ‘Should I watch The Bachelorette or the News? (both of these are bad choices either way)’
See…I have come to the point in the day where I can’t think anymore. I think because I think thinking will help the thinking out. To make decisions…normal, simple decisions. It has become monotonous and annoying. I should just know what I want, right? Cereal! I should just know what to watch, right? NOT either listed above! I should know whether or not I need to get up or if I don’t need to and can stay seated. Right?
Right. I do. The trouble is there really is no trouble. I have overcomplicated every single move and thought that I have. Over-complicated something that is mind numbingly simple!
And I can’t even truly put it into words. I kind of just walk around…looking at things and walking somewhere else and look at other stuff. Then, I’ll sit down and think about something and watch some tv and get up again and look and think strange things. But normal things. The trouble is I think they are strange when really they are normal…and I know that they are normal, but I also think there is something strange going on.
I can guarantee that this doesn’t necessarily make any sense whatsoever and that’s ok. It doesn’t make any sense to me, but I also understand it completely. I understand it, yet don’t know how to move forward out of it. So……I blog. I blog about it. No one really reads it…no one understands it or cares. It’s just a little entertaining brain drain from the brain of kate. I’ll figure all this shit out.
By the way, I am working on rescuing a dog. I am pretty pumped about it.