I hate you, beige

Soon we will embark on a painting journey.  We have successfully moved into our new home and have made our things fit in quite well.  I am pleased with majority of the wall colors and am very pleased that I will only have to paint two rooms…and the outside of the house.  I think we’ll save that for next summer.  I feel like the outside is so bland.  In looking at others’ homes, they are pretty bland too.  How to spice it up?

Don’t get me wrong, I do not want a hot pink house with lavender trim (we’ll save that for Barbie), but I can’t quite explain why I despise the color beige.  Really, beige, what have you ever done for me? Beige is not a flattering color on my skin tone.  Maybe it’s the fleshy quality that I dislike about it.  It makes me look even paler than I already am.  It makes me think of enormous bras and panties that only the plus sized women wear.  Why do they only seem to make plus sizes in beige?  Or maybe I only remember these colors from being a kid and always always always seeing my mom’s beige bras.  Beige.  Even the spelling makes me mad.  It should be spelled the way it makes a person feel: bage.  You know, like how people from the midwest say ‘bag.’ All drawn out like ‘bayg.’

And beige with hunter green trim?  Hate.  That is one of the reasons that I had nixed the house from our list.  I didn’t even want to look at it, all because of the beige-ness and the country, green feel.  I am very glad that I realized that these things can be painted…that I can put aside my dislike for beige for a few months or a year.  I want to change the green trim to white, a nice crisp white.  Granted, it is a house and this crisp white will soon change to a (dare I say it) beige color from dirt and debris.  Damn you, beige!  Overall the majority of the house is beige…which I plan to paint over with a blue, or a blue-ish gray…like a slate blue.  Not too dark, but not too light and pastel looking either.  I want it to be rich and dreamy and make the greens and pinks and yellows of the landscaping pop out.

(Shenanigans!  The Lovelies were supposed to be napping and I can hear them in the other room.  They have turned off my tunes and have turned on some annoying sing a long cartoons.  Shit!  Why don’t they ever nap anymore!)

There are also the girls rooms…well, the bedroom that they currently share and the toy room.  The bedroom used to house a serious Green Bay Packer fan and the walls are that awful green, which clashes terribly with the existing carpeting.  The carpeting is, dare I say, hunter green.  Yes, it is.  It works well in the other rooms…basically because the other rooms are tan or cream.  Yes, the carpeting.  I thought that I was also going to truly dislike it, but it is growing on me.  This is good because I am not ready to re-carpet or re-floor the whole upstairs of our new house that I am dying to paint from beige to blue.

The toy room now is currently the flame room.  It is a ghastly mess of yellow, orange, and blue flames and geometric designs with some Hot Wheels decals stuck on it.  If we had little boys, it would be ok.  I would probably still repaint it even if we did have little guys and they loved it…purely because you can still see all the pencil marks where they were lining out the colors, and now the pencil lines are all smudged on the walls from grubby little  hands.  So, good idea,but poor execution.

Back to beige-ics.  I also want to be able to tell our house from other houses on our block.  The house to the left and the house to the right are both tan, beige, light brown…whatever you want to call it.  I don’t want to have to describe it to people as the beige house in between the beige houses…with the green trim.  Ick.  I want it to just pop out.  Yeah, the beautiful blue house.  Easy!


3 thoughts on “I hate you, beige

  1. You must avoid beige at all costs – it is ‘soma’ for the masses. Like the anti-christ it has many names: barley, wheat-crush, cappuccino, california creaming, and the bizarre camel wild mushroom, yet it will always be beige no matter what way you shake it!

    Big thoughts, big colours and bold brush strokes! 🙂

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