sometimes motherhood blows


image

 

Well, what do we have here?  It looks like a tasty easter egg treat all tucked away in the grass, doesn’t it?

Right.

This here is the top of a blow pop sucker nestled in a fuzzy little fluff of carpeting.  Yeah, it’s green apple.  Isn’t green apple the best flavor of blow pop?  And yeah, my carpeting is green.  It is unfortunate and something I’ve been planning on replacing for the past 5 years that we’ve lived in this house.

For those of you that may still be wondering just what in tarnation is happening, let me fill you in on my morning.

It began much like any other day off:  my eyes blinked awake when they were ready.  It was later than a typical day since I had a bout of insomnia the evening prior and was awake until after 4:30.  My intentions for the day were to prepare the kids’ area for a few girls that are sleeping over this weekend.  I wouldn’t want these 10 year old girls thinking that we live in a dirty house and are unorganized.  No.  After fetching a morning coffee, I began the always daunting task of cleaning their toy/play area.

I gathered up 4 bags of plastic toys and dumb shit that they don’t play with anymore or that is broken….and also toys that I think are annoying.  It’s true, I’m a mother that secretly gets rid of toys.  Let’s be honest…they never even know.  I loaded them up in the car ready to be donated to Goodwill.  I managed to make it out of there with only one bag of trash as opposed to the usual 4.  Despite arming their room with 2 garbage cans, papers, beads, wrappers and goldfish crackers always ended up on the floor and all over the place.  Savages.

I made it through the session without flipping into a maniacal cleaning madwoman.  I get angry when I clean.  I do.  I curse and bitch.  I ask questions to my invisible family like ‘Did you know we own a garbage can? Have I not given you the tools to pick up after yourself? Are you fucking kidding me??’

I made it all the way through today.  I did!  It was impressive!  My finest hour!  Until I moved the couch to vacuum and saw this green eyed beast staring at me.  Oh, what’s this?  Oh…huh…oh, it’s stuck to the carpeting….Oh man…Fucking A!!!  What the fuck?!?  A Fucking blow pop?

It sent me over the edge.

It was so lodged in there…pressed in further by the couch leg.

I had to slice it out with a razorblade.  It felt good.  Maybe now we can get new carpeting?

Happy thoughts


image

It’s interesting to see just how much we humans agonize over happiness.  Isn’t it?  We research it, we read about it, we make lists about it, we dream, goal-set, prioritize, flip-flop, argue about it, we buy colorful magazines that talk about it, we buy a lot of things for it actually, we blame, we start to loathe it sometimes, and then…sometimes, all of a sudden, it’s here!

Strange.  How a few days in the sunshine and a little break from the normal routine can re-spark that zest for life.  Puts it all in perspective…that life is short and every day is a step towards something better and greater.  I find that it helps me to make lists of things…

…so here’s my list of things that are currently filling me up:

*Cadbury chocolate Mini-Eggs…they come out for Easter time and they are  my favorite.

*A new clever book called One More Thing: Stories and other Stories by BJ Novak.  It’s a collection of short stories written with wit and humor…my favorite!  He was a writer for The Office and he wrote the children’s book, The Book with No Words.

*My good friend is having a baby at any moment!  Her due date is today!  I remember those last days of waiting were so strange and interesting and excruciating…but the wait is so worth it.  Good Luck to her!!

*Um…sunshine!  It’s 40 degrees here in the chilly Midwest.  That, my friends, is a heat wave.  I like to think I brought it back with me.  I’ll take credit where credit is due.

*Yellow tulips

*FlexJobs.com…which I haven’t officially signed up for because I have to pay a monthly fee, but basically you can find freelance/telecommuting jobs with legit companies.  Not scam companies.  I can tell you more as I find out, but why not write some blog posts for someone part-time and get paid?  Right?  Write?  Right?

*Coffee delivered to me by my husband while I type…yessssssssss

*Another book that I ordered that will arrive on Tuesday.  It’s called Do Cool Shit (Quit your day job, Start your own business, and Live happily ever after).  Pretty sweet eh?  By Miki Agrawal.  Not saying I’m ready to start my own business but I just really like books that break down overwhelming, larger than life events with witty, down to earth writing.  Yup.

*New work digs!  My job moved locations last week and we start in a new, fresh space tomorrow!  It’s so strange but also super great.  It’s great that we are growing and able to expand a little.  Yay!

*The sketch comedy class that I’m taking online through The Second City.  Let’s get weird, people.

What’s making you guys happy lately?

hypocrisy


image

 

Ok, so I didn’t get a pedicure before going on vacation.  I thought I might treat myself to one while away, but I didn’t.  I didn’t feel the need.  Why bother?  Who cares?  They’re aired out for three days and then they get wrapped in warm swaddling socks until summer.

I didn’t anticipate my toes being in any pictures…you’ve all seen those annoying vacation photos of the girl’s perfectly pedicured toes in the sand.  Yeah, I thought so.  We know you’re on vacation…stop taking pictures of your feet and take a picture of something pretty!!!  Or something boring like your dessert of creme brulee.   I would rather see a million photos of the water and the waves and the sand and anything else.

I didn’t even take a picture of myself on my trip!  Wait…now that I think about it, I did take a picture of my bangs sticking straight up one morning.  I also had my toothbrush hanging out of my mouth.  What can I say, Danger is my middle name.  Yeah, baby!

My toes were not supposed to make an appearance in this picture…and I neglected to crop them out.  And now, it has taken over my whole train of thought….because as I type this, those fat little cheese sticks are wiggling hello at me.

 

Yes


image

 

Life is better when you end dinner with dessert.  Or if you begin dinner with dessert…or if you have dessert in the middle of the day just because you want to.  Life is better with Creme Brulee.  Let’s face it, it just is.  No questions, hands down, absolutely better with a whole creme brulee all to yourself.

Be still my heart…


image

 

We were out on the Pier in Oceanside, gazing out into the ocean.  The waves were crashing, the wind was blowing, and life was good.  Surfers were paddling out and riding waves, families were watching their young ones splash on the shore.  A man was feeding little fishies to a pelican and the seagulls were hovering over, waiting for a little crumb to snack on.  There was even a group of people from the Sea World rescue collecting sea lions.

We had just driven through all the adorable coastal towns of Encinitas, Carlsbad, and now into Oceanside.  If we kept going we would be in southern Los Angeles.  Each had their own feel and their own charm.  They all had their own set of characters.  We could see them all from the end of the pier.  We could see how long the beach stretched.

I was in awe.  I was in awe because this beautiful coastline is enjoyed by people every single day.  I live near one of the Great Lakes…and it is not enjoyed to this extent year round.  It just isn’t.  It would be if the 70 degree sunshine were smiling down on your face.

Oh man, the San Diego area is stealing my heart.  You better up your game, Wisconsin…

I like it


image

 

I’m coming back here.  I am.  I definitely like it here.  I like the beach and I like the water.  I like the colors and the wind.  I like how everyone says gnarly and bro.  I like it.  I like the laid back yet productive vibe.  It’s similar to Hawaii but different….it’s as if more things get accomplished in less time and there’s more time to enjoy the sun and the beach.  It’s less like ‘island time’ and more like ‘life is good.’

Now, don’t get me wrong, I still like my home.  I do.  I like it a few months out of the year.  It seems that as I age, I get more and more bummed in the wintertime.  I do not like that.  I try a lot of things to get through and every year it seems to last longer and longer.  Also a hunk of money will last a lot longer at home.  Well, friends…

I like it here.  I do.  I even liked this storm that rolled in yesterday.  You can see it looming on the right side of the picture.  Sunshine and a storm and then back to sunshine.  It was great!  I like that my eyes are tired from squinting in the sun…and I like that my freckles are popping out on my nose.  I like that an artist can make a good living.  I like how people wear winter jackets and mittens when it drops to 50 degrees….it’s kind of cute.  Ridiculous, but cute.

I’ll be coming back for sure.

 

France. We come from France.


image

 

Cone shaped cabbages?  Just what in the world (more like out-of-this-world) is going on here in California?

It’s a touch of the bizarro, I tell ya.

We stepped into Whole Foods, only to be greeted by little green, alien, conehead cabbages!

I didn’t buy one…I didn’t trust it.  I figured it would surely attach itself to my vacuum cleaner and consume all of the dirt and debris.  Wait, that’s not such a bad thing at all.  Consume mass quantities!